All modalities I offer start with a conversation about consent, so that there will be full understanding between client and facilitator.
Consent is discussed along the lines that are set out by Dr. Betty Martin in the Wheel of Consent (link). Within the boundaries of consent the interactions of Allowing versus Taking and Serving versus Accepting define the sometimes subtle dynamics of relating, of mindful behaviour towards the other person. Outside of the boundaries of consent are the types of behaviour that we want to avoid because of the harmful nature of our shadow-sides.
Depending on the nature of the interaction of client and facilitator (is it a naked event with or without touch, or a massage) a checklist of attention points will be discussed for as far as relevant. Devised by Laurie Handlers (link), the acronym RBDSMT is used, which stands for:
Relationship, what is your relationship status?
Boundaries, which are they?
Desires, what do you want?
Sexual health, any worries?
Meaning, how will it help you?
Trauma, any physical or mental points of consideration?
What applies to the dynamics between client and facilitator also has relevance to understanding behaviour and ingrained patterns of ourselves and how we relate with others. A worthwhile read is a blog by Andrew Barnes, discussing his Relationship Map (link).
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